remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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