I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
