ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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