So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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