so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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