The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize