don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
