I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize