I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
