this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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