I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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