That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
