I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
