she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
