we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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