apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize