why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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