just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
