Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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