We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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