her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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