i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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