i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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