I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize