In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize