just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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