I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
