I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
