i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
