i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
