So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
