you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize