my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
