I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
