Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
