what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
