Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
