Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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