Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
