I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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