Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize