So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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