The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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