Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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