So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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