So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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