she was so not down for the gang bang
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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