I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
