Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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