Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
