Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
