Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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