It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
