why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize