Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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