I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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