it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
