Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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