I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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