quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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