would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize