Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
