so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
