I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
