I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
