So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
