what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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