i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
