So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
