HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
