I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
