Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
