Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
