so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
