my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
