I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
