I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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