i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
